Mulder: We’re too late. It’s already been here. Scully: Mulder, I hope you know what you are doing. Mulder: Look, Scully, just like the other homes: Douglas fir, truncated, mounted, transformed into some sort of shrine; halls decked with boughs of holly; stockings hung by the chimney, with care. Scully: You really think someone’s been …
TO: Public release RE: Organizational Changes at the North Pole The recent announcement that Donner and Blitzen have elected to take the early reindeer retirement package has triggered a good deal of concern about whether they will be replaced, and about other restructuring decisions at the North Pole. Streamlining was necessary due to the North …
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Mental Health Care Ltd. To: All Home Managers From: Concerned Care Staff Date: 25th December Re: S. Claus We are having problems with the above named. He presents as being happy andjolly and walks around saying “Ho ho ho”. Additionally he has taken to referring to an imaginary animal called Rudolf and insists on wearing …
Below are some jokes told by 4 and 5 yr. olds on David Letterman’s show. How can you tell it is Ronald McDonald on a nude beach?….He’s the one with the sesame seed buns. There was a lady taking a bath with her dog Seemore. Seemore jumps out the window and the lady with no …
Fed up with the way the bride invariably steals the show at her own wedding, the University at which Rob Tombes works carried in its news weekly its own unbiased account of his recent marriage here to Mary Beth Snyder: Mr Robert Tombes, son of Dr. and Mrs. Averett S. Tombes of Fairfax, Va., became …
‘Twas the night before Christmas And all through the trailer Not a creature was stirrin’ ‘Cept a redneck named Taylor. His first name was Bubba, Joe was his middle, And a-runnin’ down his chin Was a trickle of spittle. His socks, they were hung by the chimney with care, And therefore there was a foul …
Two New Yorkers were driving through Louisiana. As they were approaching the town of Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one blonde asked the manager, “Before we order, could you please settle an argument for …
A sweet little girl runs out to the backyard where her father is working, and asks him “Daddy, what’s sex?” So, her father sits her down, and tells her all about the birds and the bees. He tells her about conception, sexual intercourse, sperms and eggs etc… He tells her about puberty, menstruation, men and …
One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in tiny Smithville wakes up early and goes to their local church. Before the service starts, the townspeople sit in their pews and talk about their lives, their families, etc. Suddenly, at the altar, Satan appears!!? Everyone starts screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in …
“You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking 5 miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 today and we don’t know where the hell she is.” –Ellen DeGeneres “Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait.” –A. Whitney Brown “My mom said …
