Concern For Santa’s Mental Health

Mental Health Care Ltd.

To: All Home Managers
From: Concerned Care Staff
Date: 25th December Re: S. Claus

We are having problems with the above named. He presents as being happy andjolly and walks around saying “Ho ho ho”. Additionally he has taken to referring to an imaginary animal called Rudolf and insists on wearing a red and white coat, even in the hearth. He refuses to use the front door preferring to come down the chimney. This behaviour became problematic when he came down the dining room chimney because it has been bricked up for some time. When he is out in the community he approaches young children, of either sex, and asks them to sit on his knee. Without staff intervention he would then ask them if they want a present.

In short, his behaviour makes his return to the community unlikely. I would be grateful for your advice concerning his suitability for a placement with Mental Health Care Ltd.

*******************REPLY******************

From: Father Christmas (alias S. Claus) The North Pole
To: Mental Health Care Ltd.
Re: Letter dated 25th December.

As you are aware recent legislation gives me access to my medical records and I am concerned that your recent report is misleading.

You will be aware that from time immortal priests have been in the habit of befriending small children and treating them kindly. This takes the form of being jolly giving presents, and more particularly sitting them on my lap and visiting them in their bedrooms ho ho ho hooo!!

I see no reason to change my behaviour and look forward to another year of jollity and indulgence unfettered by do-gooding social workers, mental health care teams and the like. I wish to appeal against my removal from the community under section 666 subsection 6 para 2.666 of the Icelandic Volcanic Mental Health Act A.D.0001 (revised 1914, 1939).

Yours sincerely

S. Claus (Rev.)

S. Claus.

Date: Wed, 3 Dec 1997 09:01:19 -0500