Bill and Hillary are out driving in the country near Hillary’s hometown. They are low on fuel, so Bill pulls into a gas station for a fill-up. The attendant comes out and begins to pump gas into the first couple’s tank. As he is doing this, he looks into the passenger window. “Hey, Hillary. We …
Bill Clinton has a dream in which he meets George Washington. He says, “George, what can I do to make things better for the people?” George Washington says, “Lower the taxes.” Clinton replies, “Oh, George, I can’t do that.” The next night, Clinton dreams again but this time Thomas Jefferson is there. “Thomas,” Clinton says, …
An American soldier, serving in World War II, had just returned from several weeks of intense action on the German front lines. He had finally been granted R&R and was on a train bound for London. The train was very crowded, so the soldier walked the length of the train, looking for an empty seat. …
It’s the French Revolution and they’re doing the usual beheadings. Today they’re leading a priest, a drunkard and an engineer up to the guillotine. They ask the priest if he wants to face up or down when he meets his fate. The priest says that he would like to face up so he will be …
This Old Mainframe – Host Bob Vila revamps a Univac and shows you how you can turn an old PC into a functional doorstep or other decorative object. Name That Software – Contestants attempt to identify well-known business programs by looking at the least number of lines of code. My Three Suns – Neighbors wonder …
Who said children are getting dumber every year. Check out the wisecracks below and judge for yourselves TEACHER: How old were you on your last birthday? STUDENT: Seven. TEACHER: How old will you be on your next birthday? STUDENT: Nine. TEACHER: That’s impossible. STUDENT: No, it isn’t, Teacher. I’m eight today. TEACHER: George, go to …
Attention female readers! Are you sick and tired of those stupid old pick-up lines that men continue to use? Here are some great comebacks! Man: “Haven’t we met before?” Woman: “Perhaps. I’m the receptionist at the VD Clinic.” Man: “Haven’t I seen you some place before?” Woman: “Yeah, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.” …
You know a woman has PMS when….. She stops reading Glamour and starts reading Guns and Ammo. She considers chocolate a major FDA food group. She puts on one of those pads with “wings,” then flies off the roof laughing hysterically while riding a broom. She’s developed a new talent for spinning her head around …
Because I’m a guy, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I’ll miss a whole show looking for it, though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator. Because I’m a guy, when I lock my keys in the …
It has come to our attention that a few copies of the Alabama edition of Windows 98 may have accidentally been shipped outside Alabama. If you have one of the Alabama editions you may need some help understanding the commands. The Alabama edition may be recognized by looking at the opening screen. It reads WINDERS …
