Recently a Ft. Lauderdale advertising agency launched a billboard campaign (including the inside and outside of buses) that included 17 different messages from God. This non-denominational campaign started in September sponsored by an anonymous client. “Let’s Meet At My House Sunday Before the Game ” – God “C’mon Over And Bring The Kids ” – …
Ellen Degeneres virus…..Your IBM suddenly claims it’s a MAC Monica Lewinsky virus….Sucks all the memory out of your computer Titanic virus…..Makes your whole computer go down Disney virus….Everthing in the computer goes Goofy Mike Tyson virus……Quits after one byte Prozac virus……Screws up your RAM but your processor doesn’t care Sharon Stone virus….Makes a huge initial …
Male vs. Female at the ATM HIM: 1. Pull up to ATM 2. Insert card 3. Enter PIN number 4. Take cash, card and receipt HER: 1. Pull up to ATM 2. Check makeup in rearview mirror 3. Shut off engine 4. Put keys in purse 5. Get out of car because you’re too far …
There would be a “Rehearsal Kegger” rather than a “Rehearsal Dinner”. Bridesmaids would wear matching blue jean cut-offs and halter tops. They would have NO tan lines. Tuxes would have team logos on the back and the Nike shoes would have matching team colors. June weddings would be scheduled around basketball play-offs. Vows would mention …
The following list on the ways graduate students and faculty miscommunicate by Roderick M. Kramer and Joanne Martin, both professors at Stanford University, rings all too true, at least from my experience. How about you? HOW GRADUATE STUDENTS AND FACULTY MISCOMMUNICATE By Roderick M. Kramer and Joanne Martin* What Faculty Say/what Faculty Really Mean I …
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Phone conversations last 30 seconds You know useful stuff about cars, tanks and airplanes A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase Bathroom lines are 80% shorter You can open all your own jars Old friends don’t give you crap if you’ve lost or gained weight When clicking thru the channels you don’t have to …
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Date: Fri, 18 Sep 1998 09:31:52 -0500 10. God worried that Adam would always be lost in the garden because men hate to ask for directions. 9. God knew that Adam would one day need someone to hand him the TV remote (Men don’t want to see what’s on television, they want to see WHAT …
The Top 10 Signs the Tech Support Person Has Gone Completely Nuts 10. Asks every caller, “Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve had a date?” 9. Attempts a mind meld with your Pentium chip. 8. Insists you stay on the phone until you’ve gone through all five stages of grief. 7. The …
The Redneck Dictionary of Medical Terms Benign: What you be after you be eight. Artery: The study of paintings. Bacteria: Back door to cafeteria. Barium: What doctors do when patients die. Cesarean Section: A neighborhood in Rome. CATscan: Searching for kitty. Cauterize: Made eye contact with her. Colic: A sheep dog. Coma: A punctuation mark. …
10. Sometimes stays in bed till after 6am. 9. In his sock drawer, you find pictures of women without bonnets. 8. Shows up at barn raisings in full “Kiss” makeup. 7. When you criticize him, he yells, “Thou suck!” 6. His name is Jebediah, but he goes by “Jeb Daddy.” 5. Defiantly says, “If I …
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