— KIDS’ INSTRUCTIONS ON LIFE — Never trust a dog to watch your food. -Patrick, Age 10 When you want something expensive, ask your grandparents. -Matthew, Age 12 Never smart off to a teacher whose eyes and ears are twitching. -Andrew, Age 9 Wear a hat when feeding seagulls. -Rocky, Age 9 Sleep in your [...]
Archive of posts filed under the Kids category.
A Wedding Story
As only a child could do… A little boy was in a relative’s wedding. As he was coming down the aisle he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd (alternating between bride’s side and groom’s side). While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roar…so it went, [...]
One for you and One for Me
There was a huge nut tree by the cemetery fence. One day two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts. “One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me,” said one boy. The bucket was so full, several [...]
How old are you?
How old does this make you feel? The people who are starting college this fall across the nation were born in 1980. They have no meaningful recollection of the Reagan era, and do not know he had ever been shot. They were prepubescent when the Persian Gulf War was waged. Black Monday 1987 is as [...]
Top Ten Signs Your Amish Teen Is In Trouble…
10. Sometimes stays in bed till after 6am. 9. In his sock drawer, you find pictures of women without bonnets. 8. Shows up at barn raisings in full “Kiss” makeup. 7. When you criticize him, he yells, “Thou suck!” 6. His name is Jebediah, but he goes by “Jeb Daddy.” 5. Defiantly says, “If I [...]
The Night Before Christmas for Moms
It was the night before Christmas, when all thru the abode only one creature was stirring, and she was cleaning the commode. The children were finally sleeping, all snug in their beds, while visions of Nintendo 64 and Barbie, flipped through their heads. The dad was snoring in front of the TV, with a half-constructed [...]
