You Might Be An Engineer If

You might be an engineer if

  • If you stare at an orange juice container because it says CONCENTRATE.
  • If your wrist watch has more computing power than a 486DX-50.
  • If you can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie.
  • If you can name 6 Star Trek episodes.
  • If your spouse sends you an e-mail instead of calling you to dinner.
  • If your idea of good interpersonal communication means getting the decimal point in the right place.
  • If you look forward to the holidays only to put together the kids’ toys.
  • If you have used coat hangers and duct tape for something other than hanging coats and taping ducts.
  • If you window shop at Radio Shack
  • If your ideal evening consists of fast-forwarding through the latest sci-fi movie looking for technical inaccuracies.
  • If you are convinced you can build a phaser out of your garage door opener and your camera’s flash attachment.
  • If you don’t even know where the cover to your personal computer is.
  • If you have modified your can-opener to be microprocessor driven.
  • If you know the direction the water swirls when you flush.
  • If you own “Official Star Trek” anything.
  • If you ever burned down the gymnasium with your Science Fair project.
  • If you are currently gathering the components to build your own nuclear reactor.
  • If you own one or more white short-sleeve dress shirts.
  • If you truly believe aliens are living among us.
  • If you have ever saved the power cord from a broken appliance.
  • If you still own a slide rule and you know how to work it.
  • If you rotate your screen savers more frequently than your automobile tires.
  • If you have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster you own turns bread into charcoal.
  • If you have more toys than your kids.
  • If you have introduced your kids by the wrong name.
  • If you have a habit of destroying things in order to see how they work.
  • If your I.Q. number is bigger than your weight.
  • If the microphone or visual aids at a meeting don’t work, and you rush up to the front to fix it.
  • If you can remember 7 computer passwords but not your anniversary.
  • If you have memorized the program schedule for the Discovery channel, and have seen most of the shows already
  • If you can type 70 words a minute but can’t read your own handwriting.
  • If people groan at the party when you pick out the music.
  • If you can’t remember where you parked your car for the 3rd time this week.
  • If you did the sound system for your senior prom.
  • If your checkbook always balances.
  • If your wrist watch has more buttons than a telephone.
  • If you have more friends on the Internet than in real life.
  • If you thought the real heroes of “Apollo 13” were the mission controllers.
  • If you think that when people around you yawn, it’s because they didn’t get enough sleep.
  • If you spend more on your home computer than your car.
  • If you know what http:/ stands for.
  • If you’ve ever tried to repair a $5.00 radio.
  • If your three year old son asks why the sky is blue and you try to explain atmospheric absorption theory.
  • If your 4 basic food groups are: 1. Caffeine 2. Fat 3. Sugar 4. Chocolate (or Chinese, pizza, beer, etc)
  • If the only jokes you receive are through e-mail.
  • If you have a neatly sorted collection of old bolts and nuts in your garage.

Date: Mon, 24 Nov 1997 14:39:24 -0500