Wants & needs (wontz and nedz) n.
Female: The delicate balance of emotional, physical and psychological longing one seeks to have fulfilled in a relationship.
Male: Food, sex and beer.
Thingy (thing-ee) n.
Female: Any part under a car’s hood.
Male: The strap fastener on a woman’s bra.
Lesbian (lez-bi-an) n.
Female: A woman who makes love to other women.
Male: A woman who has sex with other women so men can watch and get really turned on.
Glass ceiling (glas see-ling) n.
Female: The invisible barrier that stops women from rising to the upper levels in business.
Male: What would really be great at work since that hot babe took over the office one flight up.
Vulnerable (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female: Fully opening up one’s self emotionally to another.
Male: Playing ball without a cup.
Communication (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one’s partner.
Male: Scratching out a note before suddenly taking off for a weekend with the guys.
Butt (but) n.
Female: The body part that every item of clothing manufactured makes “look bigger.”
Male: The organ of mooning (and farting).
Commitment (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female: A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male: Not trying to pick up other women while out with one’s girlfriend.
Entertainment (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female: A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male: Anything with one ball, two folds, or three stooges.
Flatulence (flach-u-lens) n.
Female: An embarrassing byproduct of digestion.
Male: An endless source of entertainment, self-expression and male bonding.
Making love (may-king luv) n.
Female: The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male: What men have to call “boinking” to get women to boink.
Remote control (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female: A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male: A device for scanning through all 75 channels every 2 1/2 minutes.
Taste (tayst) v.
Female: Something you do frequently to whatever you’re cooking, to make sure it’s good.
Male: Something you must do to anything you think has gone bad, prior to tossing it out.