Date: Wed, 11 Mar 1998 13:49:11 -0500
This guy has been working as a bag boy in a supermarket for 5 years.
One day the supermarket gets new orange juice machines, and the bag
boy is real excited and asks the manager if he can work the juice
machines. The manager says no. The bag boy goes, "But I've been
working here for 5 years, why can't I run the juice machines?"
The manager goes, "I'm sorry, but BAGGERS CAN'T BE JUICERS."
Peek-A-Boo Street, the Olympic Gold Medalist in Skiing, has made
quite a name for herself since her initial assault for the Gold in
Lillehammer. Thru endoresments and other perks, she has amassed a
tidy sum for a young lady. In her quest for sharing her good
fortune with people in her community, and, because she had spent
so much time in the local hospital with multiple suguries for knee
injuries, she donated a sizable amount of money to said hospital
to be used at their discretion. In need of better facilities in
their Intensive Care Unit, the hospital put her money in a new area
now known as the Peek-A-Boo I. C. U.
It was a warm Southern California evening when the jury reached a
verdict in the O. J. Simpson case. The nation was anxiously
awaiting the jury's verdict and newsmen were rapidly arriving on
the rumors that the decision would finally be announced. At that
moment, Judge Ito was in his backyard Bar-B-Qing filet mignon for
the family's evening dinner. The bailiff phoned the Ito residence
and when Mrs. Ito answered, requested that the Judge be notified
and suggested that the judge should return to the court house as
soon as possible. Mrs. Ito refused the bailiff's request because,
she insisted, "HIS HONOR WAS AT STEAK."
A squad car driver was covering a quiet beat out in the sticks when
he was amazed to find a former lieutenant on the police force
covering the beat. He stopped the car and asked, "Why, Mike, this
wouldn't be your new beat out here in the sticks, would it?"
"That it is," Mike replied grimly, "ever since I arrested Judge Ito
on his way to the masquerade ball." "You mean you pinched his
honor?" asked Pat. "How was I to know that his convict suit was only
a costume." demanded Mike. "Well," mused Pat, "tis life and there's
a lesson in this somewhere." "That there is," replied Mike.
"TIS WISE NEVER TO BOOK A JUDGE BY HIS COVER."
The cartoon characters were playing draw poker between the takes of
the epic movie, "Who Framed Roger Rabbit." Roger was the big winner
but Mickey Mouse and Huckleberry Hound were doing well. Goofy,
Casper the Ghost and Donald Duck were losing, when Casper picked up
the two, three, four, five and seven of hearts. He was unable to
scare any of the other players into folding their hands as all but
Casper drew one or two cards. The bidding on the second round was
quite animated as the pot grew to the largest to date. Casper showed
his hand and started to take the pot when Roger put down the King,
eight, six, five and three of spades to beat him. The moral of the
story: THE SPIRIT WAS WILLING BUT THE FLUSH WAS WEAK.