The passengers on a commercial airliner have been seated and are waiting for the cockpit crew to get underway. A mummur is heard in the back of the plane, and a few passengers on the aisle glance back to see the pilot and copilot, both wearing large dark sunglasses, making their way up to the …
Ellen Degeneres virus…..Your IBM suddenly claims it’s a MAC Monica Lewinsky virus….Sucks all the memory out of your computer Titanic virus…..Makes your whole computer go down Disney virus….Everthing in the computer goes Goofy Mike Tyson virus……Quits after one byte Prozac virus……Screws up your RAM but your processor doesn’t care Sharon Stone virus….Makes a huge initial …
A businessman from Wisconsin went on a business trip to Louisiana. Upon arrival, he immediately plugged his laptop into the hotel room port and sent a short E-mail back home to his wife, Jennifer Johnson, at her address. Unfortunately, in his haste, he mistyped a letter and the E-mail ended up going to a Jean …
A lawyer finds out he has a brain tumor, and it`s inoperable – in fact, it`s so large, they have to do a brain transplant. His doctor gives him a choice of available brains – there`s a jar of rocket scientist brains for $10 an ounce, a jar of regular scientist brains for $15 an …
A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat. He came across two men. One was sitting under a tree and reading a book; the other was typing away on his typewriter. The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him. Even the king of the jungle …
Male vs. Female at the ATM HIM: 1. Pull up to ATM 2. Insert card 3. Enter PIN number 4. Take cash, card and receipt HER: 1. Pull up to ATM 2. Check makeup in rearview mirror 3. Shut off engine 4. Put keys in purse 5. Get out of car because you’re too far …
A truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers down Hwy 82 (El Camino Real NW of San Jose ) stops for a beer. As he approaches the bar he sees a big sign on the door saying “NERDS NOT ALLOWED-ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK!” He goes in and sits down. The bartender comes over …
There would be a “Rehearsal Kegger” rather than a “Rehearsal Dinner”. Bridesmaids would wear matching blue jean cut-offs and halter tops. They would have NO tan lines. Tuxes would have team logos on the back and the Nike shoes would have matching team colors. June weddings would be scheduled around basketball play-offs. Vows would mention …
A pastor was giving the children’s message during church. For this part of the service, he would gather all the children around him and give a brief lesson before dismissing them for children’s church. On this particular Sunday, he was using squirrels for an object lesson on industry and preparation. He started out by saying, …
TO: ALL EMPLOYEES FROM: HUMAN RESOURCES DATE: SEPTEMBER 7, 1998 RE: REST ROOM USE POLICY In the past, employees were permitted to make trips to the rest room under informal guidelines. Effective at the beginning of next month, a rest room trip policy will be established to provide a more consistent method of accounting for …
