A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mudhole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can’t be found. So he drives the farmer’s BMW …
A funeral service is being held in a synagogue for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service the pallbearers are carrying the casket out, when they accidentally bump into a wall jarring the casket. They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is …
Honey Do’s This week I am at home & playing house husband. My wife left a list of things I need to do. This is soooooo easy I thought I would share it with you. 1). Make the beds– What a waste of effort, we’re only going to sleep in them again tonight. Forget that …
An old man in Mississippi was sitting on his front porch watching the sun rise. He sees the neighbor’s kid walk by carrying something big under his arm. He yells out “Hey boy, whatcha got there?” Boy yells back “Roll of chicken wire.” Old man says “What you gonna do with that?” Boy says “Gonna …
A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about ready to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, “I have a confession to make, I’m not a virgin.” The husband replies, “That’s no big thing in this day and age.” The wife continues, “Yeah, I’ve been with one guy.” “Oh …
The way it is… During Creation: God created the mule and told him, “You will be mule, working constantly from dawn to dusk, carrying heavy loads on your back. You will eat grass and lack intelligence. You will live for 40 years. The mule answered, “To live like this for 40 years is too much. …
Here’s A Puzzle for You: Schwartznegger has a big one, Michael J. Fox has a small one, Madonna doesn’t have one, The Pope has one but doesn’t use it, Clinton uses his all the time, Mickey Mouse has an unusual one, George Burns’ was hot, Liberace NEVER used his on women, Jerry Seinfeld is very …
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. — Henny Youngman The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they’re too old to do it. — Ann Bancroft (married to Mel Brooks) Any husband who says. “My wife and I are completely equal partners,” …
A guy goes to see the doctor, because he’s been a little TOO well endowed, shall we say. In fact, it’s 25 inches long. Can’t get any women to have sex with him. No men either, one would think. Anyway, the doctor says there’s nothing he can do medically, but sends him to see a …
A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway in Nevada when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye. It reads: SISTERS OF MERCY HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION – 10 MILES. He thinks it was just a figment of his imagination and drives on without a second thought. Soon, he sees …
