You might be an engineer if

• If you stare at an orange juice container because it says CONCENTRATE.
• If your wrist watch has more computing power than a 486DX-50.
• If you can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie.
• If you can name 6 Star Trek episodes.
• If your spouse sends you an e-mail instead of calling you to dinner.
• If your idea of good interpersonal communication means getting the decimal point in the right place.
• If you look forward to the holidays only to put together the kids’ toys.
• If you have used coat hangers and duct tape for something other than hanging coats and taping ducts.
• If you window shop at Radio Shack
• If your ideal evening consists of fast-forwarding through the latest sci-fi movie looking for technical inaccuracies.
• If you are convinced you can build a phaser out of your garage door opener and your camera’s flash attachment.
• If you don’t even know where the cover to your personal computer is.
• If you have modified your can-opener to be microprocessor driven.
• If you know the direction the water swirls when you flush.
• If you own “Official Star Trek” anything.
• If you ever burned down the gymnasium with your Science Fair project.
• If you are currently gathering the components to build your own nuclear reactor.
• If you own one or more white short-sleeve dress shirts.
• If you truly believe aliens are living among us.
• If you have ever saved the power cord from a broken appliance.
• If you still own a slide rule and you know how to work it.
• If you rotate your screen savers more frequently than your automobile tires.
• If you have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster you own turns bread into charcoal.
• If you have more toys than your kids.
• If you have introduced your kids by the wrong name.
• If you have a habit of destroying things in order to see how they work.
• If your I.Q. number is bigger than your weight.
• If the microphone or visual aids at a meeting don’t work, and you rush up to the front to fix it.
• If you can remember 7 computer passwords but not your anniversary.
• If you have memorized the program schedule for the Discovery channel, and have seen most of the shows already
• If you can type 70 words a minute but can’t read your own handwriting.
• If people groan at the party when you pick out the music.
• If you can’t remember where you parked your car for the 3rd time this week.
• If you did the sound system for your senior prom.
• If your checkbook always balances.
• If your wrist watch has more buttons than a telephone.
• If you have more friends on the Internet than in real life.
• If you thought the real heroes of “Apollo 13” were the mission controllers.
• If you think that when people around you yawn, it’s because they didn’t get enough sleep.
• If you spend more on your home computer than your car.
• If you know what http:/ stands for.
• If you’ve ever tried to repair a $5.00 radio.
• If your three year old son asks why the sky is blue and you try to explain atmospheric absorption theory.
• If your 4 basic food groups are: 1. Caffeine 2. Fat 3. Sugar 4. Chocolate (or Chinese, pizza, beer, etc)
• If the only jokes you receive are through e-mail.
• If you have a neatly sorted collection of old bolts and nuts in your garage.

Date: Mon, 24 Nov 1997 14:39:24 -0500