School Boy

A little boy is in school working on his arithmetic. The teacher says, “Imagine there are 5 blackbirds sitting on a fence. You pick up your BB gun and shoot one. How many blackbirds are left?” The little boy thinks for a moment and says, “NONE!” The teacher replies, “None — how do you figure …

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Hokieland Residency Application

Last Name: ________________ First name: (Check appropriate box): (_) Billy-Bob (_) Billy-Joe (_) Billy-Ray (_) Billy-Sue (_) Billy-Mae (_) Billy-Jack (_) Billy Age: ____, if known Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ N/A Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right Occupation: (phonetic spellings available) (_) Farmer (_) Mechanic (_) Hair Dresser (_) Un-employed Spouse’s Name: __________________________ …

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Satisfaction…..

HOW TO SATISFY A WOMAN EVERY TIME Caress, praise, pamper, relish, savor, massage, make plans, fix, empathize, serenade, compliment, support, feed, tantalize, bathe, humor, placate, stimulate, jiffylube, stroke, console, purr, hug, coddle, cuddle, excite, pacify, protect, correspond, anticipate, nuzzle, smooch, toast, minister to, forgive, sacrifice for, ply, accessorize, beseech, sublimate, entertain, charm, lug, drag, crawl, …

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Ice Fishing

A blonde wanted to go ice fishing; so, after reading many books on the subject and gathering all of the necessary equipment, she made for the nearest frozen lake. After positioning her comfy foot stool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice. Suddenly, as if from the sky, a voice boomed out, …

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Airline Humor

One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated, waiting for the cockpit crew to show up so they can get under way. The pilot and co-pilot finally appear in the rear of the plane, and begin walking up to the cockpit through the center aisle. Both appear to be …

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Join the CIA

A few months ago, there was an opening with the CIA for an assassin. These highly classified positions are hard to fill, and there’s a lot of testing and background checks involved before you can even be considered for the position. After sending some applicants through the background checks, training and testing, they narrowed the …

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