Pet Genesis
Pet Genesis
Date: Wed, 5 May 1999 11:25:43 -0500
In The Beginning
A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has
provided the answer to "Where do pets come from?"
Adam said, "Lord, when I was in the garden, you walked
with me every day. Now I do not see you anymore. I am
lonesome here and it is difficult for me to remember
how much you love me."
And God said, "No problem! I will create a companion
for you that will be with you forever and who will be
a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love
me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how
selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new
companion will accept you as you are & will love you
as I do, in spite of yourself."
And God created a new animal to be a companion for
Adam. And it was a good animal. And God was pleased.
And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and he
wagged his tail. And Adam said, "Lord, I have already
named all the animals in the Kingdom and I cannot
think of a name for this new animal."
And God said, "No problem. Because I have created this
new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his
name will be a reflection of my own name, "and you
will call him DOG."
And Dog lived with Adam and was a companion to him and
loved him. And Adam was comforted. And God was
pleased. And Dog was content and wagged his tail.
After a while, it came to pass that Adam's guardian
angel came to the Lord and said, "Lord, Adam has
become filled with pride. He struts and preens like a
peacock and he believes he is worthy of adoration. Dog
has indeed taught him that he is loved, but perhaps
too well."
And God said, "No problem! I will create for him a
companion who will be with him forever and who will
see him as he is. The companion will remind him of his
limitations, so he will know that he is not always
worthy of adoration."
And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam.
And Cat would not obey Adam.
And when Adam gazed into Cat's eyes, he was reminded
that he was not the supreme being. And Adam learned
humility.
And God was pleased.
And Adam was greatly improved.
And Dog was happy.
And the Cat didn't give a shit one way or the other.
Amen
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