A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway, when he notices a sign. It reads “SISTERS OF MERCY HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION – 10 MILES”. He pays no attention to it and drives on without a second thought. Soon, he sees another sign which says “SISTERS OF MERCY HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION – 5 MILES” …
A 54 year old accountant leaves a letter for his wife one Friday evening that reads: Dear Wife (that’s what he called her): I am 54 and by the time you receive this letter I will be at the Grand Hotel with my beautiful and sexy 18 year old secretary. When he arrived at the …
A rabbi and a priest get into a car accident and it’s a bad one. Both cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of the clerics is hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the rabbi sees the priest’s collar and says, “So you’re a priest. I’m a rabbi. Just look at our cars. …
The jewels found below are said to be written by actual students and are genuine, authentic, and unretouched. Compiled by Richard Lederer, they appear in the 12/31/95 issue of National Review. “In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world, so He took the Sabbath off. Adam and Eve …
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As a result of an overwhelming lack of requests, and with research help from that renown scientific journal SPY magazine (January,1990), I am pleased to present the annual scientific inquiry into Santa Claus. No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified. And, while most …
May I talk with… The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers. He dialed the employees home phone number and was greeted with a childs whispered, “Hello?”. Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to a youngster …
Case Report: Unique Case of Aerial Sleigh-Borne Present-Deliverer’s Syndrome Source: North Pole Journal of Medicine, vol 1 no.1, December 1997 Author: Dr. Iman Elf, M.D. On January 2, 1997, Mr. C, an obese, white caucasian male, who appeared approximately 65 years old, but who could not accurately state his age, presented to my family practice …
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Ingredients 1 cup water 8oz. mixed nuts 1 cup brown sugar 1 cup butter 1 tsp. salt 2 cups dried fruit 4 large eggs juice of 1 lemon 1 tsp baking powder Method Sample the bourbon to check quality. Take a large bowl. Re-sample the bourbon to ensure it is of the highest quality. Pour …
CHILDREN’S LETTERS TO GOD Dear GOD, In school they told us what You do. Who does it when You are on vacation? -Jane Dear GOD, Are you really invisible or is that just a trick? -Lucy Dear GOD, Is it true my father won’t get in Heaven if he uses his bowling words in the …
For Christmas this year my wife purchased me a week of private lessons at the local health club. Though still in great shape from when I was on the varsity chess team in high school, I decided it was a good idea to go ahead and try it. I called and made reservations with someone …
