An American soldier, serving in World War II, had just returned from several weeks of intense action on the German front lines. He had finally been granted R&R and was on a train bound for London. The train was very crowded, so the soldier walked the length of the train, looking for an empty seat. …
Attention female readers! Are you sick and tired of those stupid old pick-up lines that men continue to use? Here are some great comebacks! Man: “Haven’t we met before?” Woman: “Perhaps. I’m the receptionist at the VD Clinic.” Man: “Haven’t I seen you some place before?” Woman: “Yeah, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.” …
You know a woman has PMS when….. She stops reading Glamour and starts reading Guns and Ammo. She considers chocolate a major FDA food group. She puts on one of those pads with “wings,” then flies off the roof laughing hysterically while riding a broom. She’s developed a new talent for spinning her head around …
Because I’m a guy, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I’ll miss a whole show looking for it, though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator. Because I’m a guy, when I lock my keys in the …
A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The little boy sees an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, “Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole.” The grandfather replies, “I’ll bet you five bucks you can’t. It’s too wiggly and limp to …
The question was raised: “If a man alone in the woods speaks, and his wife cannot hear him, is he still wrong?” I have considered this question in light of the principles of Modern Physics and offer my thesis, dedicated to my wife, who anchors me in reality. In the year 1900 Max Planck discovered …
One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God… “Lord, I have a problem!” “What’s the problem, Eve?” “Lord, I know you’ve created me and have provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, and that hilarious comedy snake, but I’m just not happy.” “Why is that, Eve?” came the …
A husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. The passion is heating up. But, then the wife stops and says, “I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me.” The husband asks, “WHAT??” The wife explains that he must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a woman. …
A man goes to Frederick’s of Hollywood. He wants to buy his wife the most sheer lingerie he can find. The woman behind the counter goes and gets an outfit. “This is $200,” she says. “I want one that’s more sheer,” says he. “This one is $350.” “I want it even more sheer than that.” …
Bob won a ticket to the Super Bowl. Approaching the stadium, he was extremely excited. Once he got inside, he couldn’t find his seat. Finally he asked an usher to help him find his seat. The usher guided him to the top row. Then the usher pointed and said seat 25. Bob settled in his …
