Everything you need to know about a guy is in his name…

Aarons are dependable and talented.
Allens are preppy.
Alexes like (French) porno.
Everyone has an Andy.
Bens are the smart, silent type.
Bob is the universal name.
Brads try too hard.
Brandons are dark haired, players.
Brians usually have one good feature.
Calebs never grow up.
Carters are rich, power-hungry snobs.
Chads are hot, quiet but interesting once you get inside.
Charlies are walking sex.
Chris’ are undefined and should remain so.
Craigs are a little misguided.
Dans are thick.
Daves are impossible to get over.
Dennis’ are quiet, desperate flirts.
Devons are destined for trouble.
Doug is the nice guy that repulses you.
Eds are thbp (like a dull thud).
Eddies are fast.
Erics are forgettable.
Ethans smell (sometimes good, usually bad).
Franks and Tonys are Italian Stallions.
Fred is in the chess club.
Fredericks could be snotty.
Georges are mild-mannered and have weight problems.
Glens are either short or intelligent.
Greggs are bizarre.
Initial name guys are cool.
Jacks wank off too much
Jakes are insecure and slightly repulsive (see Doug).
James’ are egotistical.
Jareds think they are the best thing since sliced bread.
Jasons are fun loving.
Jeffs are lost puppies (though they are adorable).
Jeremys are a tad fruity.
Joes are awkward, shy-guys in first date situations.
Joels are frustrated. (tend to hang out with Nelsons)
It’s hard to stand out if your name is John.
Joshes are romantic back-stabbers.
Justins mess with your mind.
Kevins have swanky hair.
Keith is built, but dry and annoying. (It’s like dating a broom)
Kens just don’t measure-up.
Korys are egotistical, pleasure-driven jerks.
There is always something wrong with a Kurt.
Leonards are avid bug collectors.
Lesters are molesters.
Lonnies are nasty.
Marks are ‘touchy.’
Martins have a strange sense of humor.
Matts let people walk all over them.
Mikes are rascally, troublesome guys but are usually nice.
Nates are cocky for a reason.
Nelsons are home-schooled.
Nicks are jerks, immature and only want your body.
Owens have large families and drive fast.
Patricks are also incredibly sexy.
Pauls suffer from male-pattern baldness.
Peters are stalkers.
Phils are sensitive but geeky.
Philips are more geeky but equally sensitive.
Randys have facial hair problems and pyro tendencies.
Richard–Dick, need I say more?
Robs are sleazy and make you feel cheap.
Robins are tormented.
Rod (the name itself) is perverted.
Rons are into pasta.
Rorys are so childish.
Ryans are never appreciated.
Sams just like sex.
Scotts are hormonal.
Shauns are sweet in one-on-one situations.
Shanes are shady.
Simons are thin.
Steves are extremes. (usually incredibly good looking or incredibly bad)
Theos (or Theodores) always make you smile.
Timothys like to be mommied.
Todds are sweet, sporty guys.
Toms are nerdy but poetic. They have that inner something.
Travis’ are dumb jocks.
Tylers are genetically small (similar to Calebs).
Wesleys are romantic.
Williams are fat.
Zacks are good looking, but aloof.