Claim: A zookeeper in Paderborn, Germany was killed by an elephant defecating onto him. Status: False. Example: [Collected on the Internet, 1998] PADERBORN, GERMANY – Overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt fed his constipated elephant Stefan 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally let …
A fellow walks into his doctor’s office, complaining that he thinks he might have a tapeworm. The doctor makes a physical examination and listens to the symptoms, and concurs with the self diagnosis. “I want you to come back tomorrow, to start treatment. And bring a banana and a cookie with you” said the doctor. …
The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of negotiations, Her Majesty Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will …
An engineering student is walking on campus one day when another engineer rides up on a shiny new motorcycle. “Where did you get such a rockin’ bike?” asked the first. The second engineer replied “Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw …
Now don’t cheat! FIRST, use a clean piece of paper. THIS IS QUITE INTERESTING! So, don’t cheat and be a schmuck and scroll on down without getting a piece of paper and a pen and following the instructions. OK? On a blank piece of paper draw a pig (yes, the animal). Then scroll down and …
Some people say cats never have to be bathed. They say cats lick themselves clean. They say cats have a special enzyme of some sort in their saliva that works like new, improved Wisk—–dislodging the dirt where it hides and whisking it away. I’ve spent most of my life believing this folklore. Like most blind …
There once was a young person named Little Red Riding Hood who lived on the edge of a large forest full of endangered owls and rare plants that would probably provide a cure for cancer if only someone took the time to study them. Red Riding Hood lived with a nurture giver whom she sometimes …
A farmer and his brand new bride were riding home from the chapel in a wagon pulled by a team of horses, when the older horse stumbled. The farmer said, “That’s once.” A little further along, the poor old horse stumbled again. The farmer said, “That’s twice.” After a little while, the poor old horse …
There were two brothers who were national yodeling champions. One day their car broke down out in the middle of nowhere and they had to put up at a farmhouse. As fate would have it there was a beautiful farmer’s daughter at the house. The two brothers had a way of communicating over several miles …
In case you have not heard of this yet, the state of Michigan sent this letter to a person who owns the land that some beavers have built a dam on a pond. Just read the reply letter, it’s a classic! STATE OF MICHIGAN Reply to: GRAND RAPIDS DISTRICT OFFICE STATE OFFICE BUILDING 6TH FLOOR …
