How To Pick Up Someone During an International Planeflight

Chris and I had the “pleasure” of being subjected to nonstop conversation directly behind us during our flight to Germany last week. A man and a woman, about our age. And, boy, were they both interesting. Hard to decide which was moreso: him (talked about his ex-girlfriend’s pregnant sister, whose declaration of her homosexuality supposedly …

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Two new additions to the periodic table of elements: Element Name: WOMAN Symbol: WO Atomic Weight: (don’t even go there) Physical properties: Generally round in form. Boils at nothing and may freeze at any time. Melts whenever treated properly. Very bitter if mishandled. Chemical properties: Very active. Highly unstable. Possesses strong affinity with gold, silver, …

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A kid gets a job in a small department store. On his first day, the manager shows the kid around, and explains that the company policy was to sell a product, with a product. The kid looked confused so the manager said he would show him what he meant. Now, it just so happened that …

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Husband and wife were sitting at the breakfast table. Husband gets up and goes to the cupboard. He brings back a bottle of tylenol and a glass of water. He places it in front of his wife. Wife says “what’s that for? I don`t have a headache.” Husband says “GOTCHA!”