A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. Indeed, the ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his hands together at his crotch, fell …
There’s this couple doing yard work and the wife stops to go up and take a shower….so the guy is looking for the rake and yells to his wife, who looks out to the upstairs bathroom window, “Where’s the rake?” She can’t hear him, so he points to his eye [I], points to his knee …
Something to be shared by educators and/or their spouses. You might be a teacher if… You want to slap the next person who says, “Must be nice to have all your holidays and summers free. You can tell it’s a full moon without ever looking outside. You believe “shallow gene pool” should have its own …
Between moments of dispensing wisdom, it seems that historical religious leaders had also learned software programming. One day, a great contest was held to test their skills. After days and days of fierce competition, only two leaders remained for the last day’s event: Jesus and Mohammed. The judge described the software application required for the …
Once upon a time, there lived a princess who was horribly ugly. No local noble would even look at her, much less ask for her hand in marriage. One day, her father the king heard of a magical mud that, when applied to one’s face, makes one beautiful. Thinking his problems are solved, he sends …
Caught On Tape! Amish Computer Scandal Shocks Community. BIRD-IN-HAND, PENNSYLVANIA: In a recent sting operation, the Amish Bureau of Internal Affairs seized literally hundreds of dollars of unauthorized electronic equipment from the backwoods tool shed of Jeremiah and Ezekiel Holzmann. The brothers were in the process of downloading email when the raid took place. Most …
This guy has been working as a bag boy in a supermarket for 5 years. One day the supermarket gets new orange juice machines, and the bag boy is real excited and asks the manager if he can work the juice machines. The manager says no. The bag boy goes, “But I’ve been working here …
Two brothers, John and Richard lived in the same town. John with his 12 year old cat, Richard with their 88 year old Mother. John’s whole life was his cat. He never went anywhere without her. One day he was faced with a terrible decision. He had to go to England on business for his …
A man is waiting for wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs. The son is just a head! But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion. After 21 years, the …
A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine year old son in the closet. One day the woman hears a car in the driveway and puts her lover in the closet, as well. Inside the closet, the little boy says, “It’s dark in here, isn’t it?” “Yes …
