One day a mother was working in the kitchen and listening to her son playing with his new electric trains in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, “All you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now, because this is the last stop. All you sons …
Santa Claus, like all pilots, gets regular visits from the Federal Aviation Administration, and the FAA examiner arrived last week for the pre-Christmas flight check. In preparation, Santa had the elves wash the sled and bathe all the reindeer. Santa got his logbook out and made sure all his paperwork was in order. He knew …
A Frenchman, an Englishman, and an American are captured by cannibals. When they meet the chief of the tribe, he tells them “Look, you’re going to die anyway. But you have a choice. You can die with honor if you wish. But if you do not die an honorable death, we’ll turn your hides into …
A man walked in to Joe’s Barber Shop for his regular haircut. As he snips away, Joe asks “What’s up?” The man proceeds to explain he’s taking a vacation to Rome. “ROME?!” Joe says, “Why would you want to go there? It’s a crowded dirty city full of Italians! You’d be crazy to go to …
Women’s English Yes = No No = Yes Maybe = No I’m sorry. = You’ll be sorry. We need = I want It’s your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now. Do what you want = You’ll pay for this later. We need to talk = I need to complain Sure… go …
It was about a month ago when a Dutchman in Amsterdam felt that he needed to confess, so went to his priest. “Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. During W.W.II I hid a Jewish man in my attic.” “Well,” answered the priest, “that’s not a sin.” “But I made him agree to pay me …
The Lone Ranger and Tonto were riding across the plains one day, when Tonto suddenly cocked his ear at a passing falcoln’s cry. “Kemosabe… Apache to East!” he whispered. The Lone Ranger looked to his faithful companion. “What do we do?” Tonto pondered a moment. “We ride West!” After riding a short while, Tonto again …
A preacher wanted to earn money for his church. He had heard there was big money in horse racing, so he decided to purchase a horse and enter it in a race. However, at the local auction, the going price for horses was too steep and the preacher ended up buying a donkey. The preacher …
