If Men Were to Rewrite “The Rules”
Rule # 1
Anything we said six or eight months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after seven days.
Rule # 2
If you don’t want to dress like Victoria’s Secret girls, don’t expect us to act like soap opera guys.
Rule # 3
If we say something that can be interpreted in two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other way.
Rule # 4
It is in neither your best interest or ours to make us take those stupid Cosmo quizzes together.
Rule # 5
Let us ogle. If we don’t look at other women how can we know how pretty you are?
Rule # 6
Don’t rub the lamp if you don’t want the genie to come out.
Rule # 7
You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done – Not both.
Rule # 8
Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials or time-outs.
Rule # 9
Christopher Columbus didn’t need directions and neither do we.
Rule # 10
Women who wear Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.
Rule # 11
When we’re turning the wheel and the car is nosing onto the off ramp, you saying “This is our exit” is not necessary.
Rule # 12
Don’t fake it. We’d rather be ineffective than deceived.