Centipede

A man goes into a pet shop and tells the owner that he wants to buy a pet that can do everything. The shop owner suggests a faithful dog. The man replies, “Come on, a dog?” The owner says, “How about a cat?” The man replies, “No way! A cat certainly can`t do everything. I …

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Cat Diary

DAY 752 – My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I …

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Cannibals

A Frenchman, an Englishman, and a New Yorker were captured by cannibals. The chief comes to them and says, “the bad news is that now that we’ve caught you, we`re going to kill you. We will put you in a pot and cook you, eat you, and then use your skins to build a canoe. …

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Borg-isms

I am Homer of Borg, prepare to be assim… Ooooooooh donuts! This is Porky Pig of Borg. You will be asi-asi-asi-asi-asi-asi… you will join us. Yoda of Borg am I. Assimilated you will be. Futile is your resistance, um? Borger King Burgers: We do it our way. Your way is irrelevant. I am Pentium of …

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