One day, after a near eternity in the Garden of Eden, Adam calls out to God, “Lord, I have a problem.” “What’s the problem, Adam?”, God replies. “Lord, I know you created me and have provided for me and surrounded me with this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, but I’m just not …
Two groups, one composed of women and the second of men, were once set up to recommend whether computers should be referred to in the feminine gender – like ships which are addressed as ‘she ‘ and ‘he’- or the masculine gender. They were asked four reasons for their recommendations. The men reported that computers …
Ahh, college. Eight of the best years of my life . . . . Introductory Chemistry at Duke has been taught for about a zillion years by Professor Bonk (really), and his course is semi-affectionately known as “Bonkistry.” He has been around forever, so I wouldn’t put it past him to come up with something …
A guy and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town, doing what guys and girls do on back roads some distance from town. As things really started getting hot, the girl stopped the guy and said, “I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I’m actually a hooker and I …
The bad and ugly king had a beautiful girl as a captive. Though her beauty shone like a thousand moons (and her moon wasn’t so bad either), the dress she was forced to wear was very unbecoming. She waited day and night, looking out with hope out the dungeon window, searching for the knight who …
(A collection of men’s thoughts on their women) … she has an uncanny way of standing between me and the television screen. Bases loaded, two strikes, three balls. The crowd goes wild, the pitch flies, and all I can see is her butt. –Howard, Dodge City, Kan. … she was furious when I got up …
Dilbert’s “Salary Theorem” states that “Engineers and scientists can never earn as much as business executives and sales people.” This theorem can now be supported by a mathematical equation based on the following two postulates: Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power. Postulate 2: Time is Money. As every engineer knows: Power = Work / Time Since: …
A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin. However, the only skin on his body that the doctor …
One day, I woke early in the morning to watch the sunrise. Ah! The beauty of God’s creation is beyond description! As I watched, I praised God for His beautiful work. As I sat there, I felt the Lord’s presence with me. He asked me, “Do you love me?” I answered, “Of course, God! You …
When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Beethoven was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it. The priest bent close to the …
