Washington Post — Style Invitational Challenge for the week was to come up with a terribly inappropriate Christmas gift idea. 4th runner up: Li’l Naturalist Hornet Farm 3rd runner up: A Pee Wee Herman pull toy 2nd runner up: The Duncan Yo — Goes down, never comes back. Teaches children about warranties 1st runner up: …
Dec. 1 Blanch carcass from Thanksgiving turkey. Spray-paint gold, turn upside down and use as a sleigh to hold Christmas cards. Dec. 2 Have Morman Tabernacle Choir record outgoing Christmas message for answering machine. Dec. 3 Using candlewick and hand-gilded pine cones, fashion cat-o’-nine-tails. Flog gardener. Dec. 4 Address sympathy cards for all friends with …
A Russian couple was walking down the street in Moscow one night, when the man felt a drop hit his nose. “I think it’s raining”, he said to his wife. “No, that felt more like snow to me”, she replied. “No, I’m sure it was just rain,” he said. Well, as these things go, they …
A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as always to shake hands. He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside. The pastor said to him, “You need to join the Army of the Lord!” My friend replied, “I’m …
Sister Mary Margaret died and through some error found herself in hell. She immediately called Saint Peter and said, “This is Sister Mary Margaret. There’s been a terrible mistake!” She explained the situation, and Saint Peter said he’d get right on it. The next day the nun didn’t hear from Saint Peter and called him …
What is a human resource? Does your organization struggle with the problem of properly fitting people to jobs? Here is a handy hint for ensuring success in job placement. Take the prospective employees you are trying to place and put them in a room with only a table and two chairs. Leave them alone for …
Twas the night before implementation and all through the house not a program was working, not even a browse. The programmers hung round their cubes in despair with hopes that a miracle soon would be there. The users were nestled all snug in their beds while visions of inquiries danced in their heads. When out …
It was the night before Christmas, when all thru the abode only one creature was stirring, and she was cleaning the commode. The children were finally sleeping, all snug in their beds, while visions of Nintendo 64 and Barbie, flipped through their heads. The dad was snoring in front of the TV, with a half-constructed …
‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house Not a creature was stirring, except Papa’s mouse. The computer was humming, the icons were hopping, As Papa did last-minute Internet shopping. The stockings were hung by the modem with care In hope that St. Nicholas would bring new software. The children were nestled all …
A festive holiday poem Hugh Drumm & Vincent Ambrose ‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the Net, There were hacker’s a surfing. Geeks? Yeah, you bet. The e-mails were stacked by the modem with care, In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there. The newbies were nestled all snug by their screens, …
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