What do you get when you toss a hand grenade into a kitchen in France?
Linoleum blownapart.

A man goes to a dermatologist with a rare skin disease. The doctor says, “Try a milk bath.” So the guy goes to the grocery store and tells the dairy manager he needs enough milk to take a bath. The dairy guys ask “You want that pasteurized?” “Nah,” the man replied “Up to my chin should do it.”

Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? Both crews were marooned.

Did you hear about the two men from the monastery who opened a fish-and-chips fastfood restaurant? One was the fish friar, the other was the chip monk.