12 STEP PROGRAM OF RECOVERY FOR WEB ADDICTS I will have a cup of coffee in the morning and read my newspaper like I used to, before the Web. I will eat breakfast with a knife and fork and not with one hand typing. I will get dressed before noon. I will make an attempt …
Position Available Immediately: Apprentice Sith Lord, Dark Side Consulting Group. An unexpected position has opened up in the Dark Side Consulting Group for an Apprentice Sith Lord. The ideal candidate for this position would like galactic travel and possess a complete understanding of, and competence with the Force, or demonstrate a willingness to learn. Duties …
To: My Boss From: Blondie Subject: Changing calendars from Y2K I hope that I haven’t misunderstood your instructions because, to be honest, none of this Y to K problem made much sense to me. At any rate, I have finished the conversion of all of the months on all the company calendars for next year. …
July 18 – I just tried to connect to America Online. I’ve heard it is the best online service I can get. They even included a free disk! I’d better hold onto it incase they don’t ever send me anther one! I can’t connect. I don’t know what is wrong. July 19 – Some guy …
DAY 752 – My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I …
Common Computer Terminology 486 – Average IQ needed to understand a PC State-of-the-art – Any computer you can’t afford Obsolete – Any computer you own Microsecond – The time it take for your state-of-the-computer to become obsolete Syntax Error – “Hi, I want to buy a computer and money is no object.” Computer Chip – …
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT She is not a BABE or a CHICK – She is a BREASTED AMERICAN. She is not a BLEACHED BLONDE – She is PEROXIDE DEPENDENT. She is not a BAD COOK – She is MICROWAVE COMPATIBLE. She is not HALF NAKED – She is WARDROBE IMPAIRED. …
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and stops to entertain at a bar in a small town. He’s going through his usual run of stupid blonde jokes, when a big blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and says: ? I’ve heard just about enough of your denigrating blonde jokes, Asshole. …
A Frenchman, an Englishman, and a New Yorker were captured by cannibals. The chief comes to them and says, “the bad news is that now that we’ve caught you, we`re going to kill you. We will put you in a pot and cook you, eat you, and then use your skins to build a canoe. …
