Date: Thu, 30 Oct 1997 14:02:05 -0400
In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity
from the employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well
trained through our new program of Special High Intensity Training
(S.H.I.T.) We are trying to give our employees more S.H.I.T. than
If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the
job, please see your manager. You will immediately be placed at the top
of the S.H.I.T. list, and our managers are especially skilled at seeing
that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can possibly handle.
Employees who don't take S.H.I.T. will be placed in Departmental
Employee Evaluation Programs (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T). Since our managers took
S.H.I.T. before they were promoted, they don't have to do S.H.I.T. any
more, and are full of S.H.I.T. already.
If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in job training others.
We can add your name to our Basic Understanding Lecture List
(B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T.). Those who are full of B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T. will get
S.H.I.T. jobs, and can apply for promotion to Director of Intensity
If you have further questions, please direct them to our Head of
Training Special High Intensity Training (H.O.T.S.H.I.T.).
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