An annotated thermometer

An annotated thermometer

60- Californians put on sweaters (if they can find one in their wardrobe)

50- Miami residents turn on the heat

40- You can see your breath Californians shiver uncontrollably Minnesotans go swimming

35- Italian cars don't start

32- Water freezes

30- You plan your vacation to Australia Minnesotans put on T-shirts Politicians begin to worry about the homeless British cars don't start Your boogers freeze

25- Boston water freezes Californians weep pitiably Minnesotans eat ice cream Canadians go swimming

20- You can hear your breath Politicians begin to talk about the homeless New York City water freezes Miami residents plan vacation further South

15- French cars don't start You plan a vacation in Mexico Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you

10- Too cold to ski You need jumper cables to get the car going

5- You plan your vacation in Houston American cars don't start

0- Alaskans put on T-shirts Too cold to skate

-10 - German cars don't start Eyes freeze shut when you blink

-15 - You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo Arkansans stick tongue on metal objects Miami residents cease to exist

-20 - Cat insists on sleeping in your pajamas with you Politicians actually do something about the homeless Minnesotans shovel snow off roof Japanese cars don't start

-25 - Too cold to think You need jumper cables to get the driver going

-30 - You plan a two week hot bath The Mighty Monongahela freezes Swedish cars don't start

-40 - Californians disappear Minnesotans button top button Canadians put on sweaters Your car helps you plan your trip South

-50 - Congressional hot air freeze Alaskans close the bathroom window

-80 - Hell freezes over


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May 04, 2004