PlanetMike.com

Jokes


Humor


----------------------------------


----------------------------------

HOKIELAND RESIDENCY APPLICATION ----------------------------------

Last Name: ________________

First name: (Check appropriate box):

(_) Billy-Bob (_) Billy-Joe (_) Billy-Ray (_) Billy-Sue (_) Billy-Mae (_) Billy-Jack (_) Billy

Age: ____, if known Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ N/A Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right

Occupation: (phonetic spellings available) (_) Farmer (_) Mechanic (_) Hair Dresser (_) Un-employed

Spouse's Name: __________________________

Relationship with spouse: (_) Sister (_) Brother (_) Aunt (_) Uncle (_) Cousin (_) Mother (_) Father (_) Son (_) Daughter (_) Pet (_) Livestock

Number of children living in household (If you can count) : ___ Number that are yours: ___

Mother's Name: _______________________

Father's Name: _______________________ (If not sure, leave blank) Relation of mother to father: _________________ Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)

Do you (_)own or (_)rent your mobile home? (Check appropriate box) Does it have wheels? (_) How many tornadoes has it been through? (_)

___ Total number of vehicles you own ___ Number of vehicles that still crank ___ Number of vehicles in front yard ___ Number of vehicles in back yard ___ Number of vehicles on cement blocks

Number of shirts you own. (1) (2) Number of shirts that are tank tops with motorcycles on them(_)

What does your foam hat say? (_) "John Deer" (_) "If I have anything to say to you I'll fart" (_) "I own a chevy truck" (_) "Old Fart's Wife" (_) no longer readable due to filth (_) you don't know because you can't read

Firearms you own and where you keep them: ____ truck ____ bedroom ____ bathroom ____ kitchen ____ shed ____ church benches (for when father speaks of the sins of incest)

Model and year of your pickup: _____________ 194_ How many deer have you struck with it? (_)

Do you have a gun rack? (_) Yes (_) No; please explain:

Have you been struck by lightning? (_) How many times? (_) While carrying a firearm? (_)

What flavors of aqua velva does the local bar serve on tap? (_) springtime blue (_) musk (_) seaside green

How many of your family members are cross eyed? (__), (_)all.

Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to: (_) The National Enquirer (_) Hustler (_) Soldier of Fortune (_) TV Guide (_) Soap Opera Digest (_) Rifle and Shotgun

___ Number of times you've seen a UFO ___ Number of times you've seen Elvis ___ Number of times you've seen Elvis in a UFO ___ Number of times you've shot at Elvis in a UFO ___ Number of consecutive sober days (0,1,2,3, can't remember)

Do you bathe? (_)Yes (_)No (_)Don't recall

If so, how often do you bathe: (_)Weekly (_)Monthly (_)Not Applicable

Color of teeth: (_)Yellow (_)Brownish-Yellow (_)Brown (_)Black (_)No teeth

Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer: (_)Red-Man

How far is your home from a paved road? (_)1 mile (_)2 miles (_)don't know

Search



Support Me

Please support Michael Clark

Stuff


Photo Gallery


Copyright © 1997-2010 Michael Boyd Clark (Pages in the Jokes Pages are not under my copyright, it's simply a generic copyright footer.)
May 04, 2004
http://www.michaelclark.name/jokes/misc/hokieland_application.shtml