Date: Mon, 23 Aug 1999 12:59:14 -0500
A man goes into a pet shop and tells the owner that he wants to buy a
pet that can do everything.
The shop owner suggests a faithful dog. The man replies, "Come on, a
The owner says, "How about a cat?" The man replies, "No way!
A cat certainly can`t do everything. I want a pet that can do
everything!" The shop owner thinks for a minute, then says, "I`ve got
it! A centipede!"
The man says, "A centipede?
I can`t imagine a centipede doing everything, but okay... I`ll try a
He gets the centipede home and says to the centipede, "Clean the
kitchen." Thirty minutes later, he walks into the kitchen and... it`s
immaculate! All the dishes and silverware have been washed, dried, and
put away; the counter-tops cleaned; the appliances sparkling the floor
He`s absolutely amazed. He says to the centipede, "Go clean the living
room." Twenty minutes later, he walks into the living room. The carpet
has been vacuumed; the furniture cleaned and dusted; the pillows on
the sofa plumped; plants watered. The man thinks to himself, "This is
the most amazing thing I`ve ever seen. This really is a pet that can
Next he says to the centipede, "Run down to the corner and get me a
newspaper." The centipede walks out the door. 10 minutes later... no
centipede. 20 minutes later... no centipede. 30 minutes later... no
By this point the man is wondering what`s going on. The centipede
should have been back in a couple of minutes. 45 minutes later...
still no centipede! He can`t imagine what could have happened. Did the
centipede run away? Did it get run over by a car? Where is that
So he goes to the front door, opens it ... and there`s the centipede
sitting right outside.
The man says, "Hey!!! I sent you down to the corner store 45 minutes
ago to get me a newspaper. What`s the matter?!"
The centipede says, "I`m goin`! I`m goin`! I`m just puttin` on my