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Centipede


Centipede

Date: Mon, 23 Aug 1999 12:59:14 -0500

A man goes into a pet shop and tells the owner that he wants to buy a pet that can do everything.

The shop owner suggests a faithful dog. The man replies, "Come on, a dog?"

The owner says, "How about a cat?" The man replies, "No way!

A cat certainly can`t do everything. I want a pet that can do everything!" The shop owner thinks for a minute, then says, "I`ve got it! A centipede!"

The man says, "A centipede?

I can`t imagine a centipede doing everything, but okay... I`ll try a centipede."

He gets the centipede home and says to the centipede, "Clean the kitchen." Thirty minutes later, he walks into the kitchen and... it`s immaculate! All the dishes and silverware have been washed, dried, and put away; the counter-tops cleaned; the appliances sparkling the floor waxed.

He`s absolutely amazed. He says to the centipede, "Go clean the living room." Twenty minutes later, he walks into the living room. The carpet has been vacuumed; the furniture cleaned and dusted; the pillows on the sofa plumped; plants watered. The man thinks to himself, "This is the most amazing thing I`ve ever seen. This really is a pet that can do everything!"

Next he says to the centipede, "Run down to the corner and get me a newspaper." The centipede walks out the door. 10 minutes later... no centipede. 20 minutes later... no centipede. 30 minutes later... no centipede.

By this point the man is wondering what`s going on. The centipede should have been back in a couple of minutes. 45 minutes later... still no centipede! He can`t imagine what could have happened. Did the centipede run away? Did it get run over by a car? Where is that centipede?

So he goes to the front door, opens it ... and there`s the centipede sitting right outside.

The man says, "Hey!!! I sent you down to the corner store 45 minutes ago to get me a newspaper. What`s the matter?!"

The centipede says, "I`m goin`! I`m goin`! I`m just puttin` on my shoes!"

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May 04, 2004
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