What your prof really means

What your prof really means

Date: Wed, 12 Feb 1997 10:23:46 +0200

When professors say this . . .They really mean this!

* This needs some minor revision. I never actually got around to reading this.

* My office hours are by appointment only. I like to get out of here early.

* Ten percent of your grade is based on class participation. I'll be fudging your grades.

* This won't be on the test. Nap time!

* Bring the text to class. I don't have a clue how to lecture--we'll just kill time with group read-alongs.

* He's not fully up to speed on that. He's got his head up his ass.

* I don't have the latest department guidelines. . . I've got my head up my ass.

* Let's check with Dr. So-and-so on that before we proceed. . . I've got my head up HIS ass.

* Talk to the department secretary. Go away.

* Talk to me in my office after class. Get out of my face.

* The tests will all be multiple-choice. I take questions directly from the study guide and have grad students do all my grading.

* Don't come in late during my lecture. I have the attention span of a fruit fly.

* Save your questions until the end. See above.

* The final will be comprehensive. I'll expect you to recapitulate in two hours everything I couldn't fully cover myself in 15 weeks.

* Everyone will prepare in-class oral presentations. This course is outside my specialty--I'll just bluff it and let YOU teach.

* There are two TAs available to help you. I can't be bothered.

* This year I'll be scaling the grades. I just passed tenure review.

* Let's break up into quiet discussion groups. I have a hangover.

* Let's have class outdoors today! I had beans for lunch.

* You won't be able to sell back the text to the bookstore. My contract wasn't picked up.

* Please note the last day to withdraw. The midterm's gonna suck.

* The answer to number 4 is "b," and just skip number 17. I only got around to making up the test last night.

* The second list is optional reading. I have a rich fantasy life.

* I haven't had a chance to make up the syllabus for this course yet. The stupid department chair stuck me with teaching this course at the last possible minute.

* Well, it was on the syllabus. I'll hold you responsible for this even though I forgot about it myself.

* We'll just skip the term paper this semester. There wasn't enough in the budget for a TA.

* Bring a number 2 pencil to the exam. See above.

* Attendance is required and will be counted in your grade. I'm so boring that no one would show up otherwise

* Read chapters 5 through 10. I'm not coming in at all next week

* We'll have to cover this chapter quickly. I fucked up the lecture schedule.

* Let's go over the exam. Half of you failed.

* It was in the textbook. I pulled it out of my ass.

* Extra credit is available I need some shit work done

* I'm postponing today's exam. There's stuff on the exam I forgot to cover.

* Don't write on the question sheet. I'm so lazy I just use the same exams every semester.