20 Ways to Annoy a Public Bathroom Stallmate:
20 Ways to Annoy a Public Bathroom Stallmate:
Date: Fri, 6 Mar 1998 10:01:19 -0500
1. Stick your open palm under the stall wall and ask your
neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"
2. Say, "Uh, oh, I knew I shouldn't have put my lips on that."
3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence
with a bodily function noise.
4. Say, "Yikes, this water's cold."
5. Drop a marble and say, "Oh geez! My glass eye!"
6. Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."
7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds then drop a
cantelope into the toilet bowl from a height of 6 feet.
-Sigh relaxingly.
8. Say, "Now, how did that get there?"
9. Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus."
10. Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it
erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while
yelling, "Whoa! Easy boy!"
11. Say, "Interesting . . . more floaters than sinkers."
12. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of
toilet paper and drop the wad under the stall wall of your
neighbor. Then say, "Whoops, could you kick that back over
here, please."
13. Say, "C'mon, Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me!"
14. Fill a balloon with cream corn. Rush into the stall with your
hand over your mouth and let a lengthy vomit impression while
you squeeze the balloon and splatter cream corn about.
Apologize profusely and blame it on the fettucine alfredo you
had for breakfast..
15. Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot."
16. Say, "Darn, I knew this drain hole was a little too small. Now,
what am I gonna do?"
17. Play a well known drum cadence over and over again on your butt
cheeks.
18. Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down your
"Cross-banners Anonymous" newsletter on the floor visible to
the adjacent stall.
19. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall, adjust it so
you can see your neighbor and say, "Peek-a-boo!"
20. Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing
"Born Free".
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