Quips

Quips

Date: Tue, 9 Feb 1999 13:29:37 -0500

Quips from Here and There

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.

I intend to live forever - so far, so good.

Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.

Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

No one is listening until you make a mistake.

The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.

The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.

The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Two wrongs are only the beginning.

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.

Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.

Always try to be modest. And be VERY proud of it!

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

Attempt to get a new car for your spouse-it'll be a great trade!

Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it's the scenic route.

Everybody repeat after me....."We are all individuals."

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.