I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got!

I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got!

"Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes." The gene pool could use a little chlorine. We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse. Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake! The secret of the universe is @*&^^^ NO CARRIER Did anyone see my lost carrier? Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot. I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing! He who laughs last thinks slowest! Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else. Give me ambiguity or give me something else. There's too much blood in my caffeine system. Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity. I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac. Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control! Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now. What is a "free" gift ? Aren't all gifts free? Assassins do it from behind. If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic. Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy. Consciousness: that annoying time between naps. Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive. I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it. Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot. When there's a will, I want to be in it. Okay, who put a "stop payment" on my reality check? Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs. We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART? Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. "Criminal Lawyer" is a redundancy. Marriage is the only war where you sleep with the enemy. C program run. C program crash. C programmer quit. Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand. Error, no keyboard - press F1 to continue. Ever notice how fast Windows runs? Neither did I. Double your drive space - delete Windows! Oops. My brain just hit a bad sector.