Bumper Stickers

Bumper Stickers

Date: Thu, 13 Nov 1997 19:12:57 -0400

ACTUAL BUMPER STICKERS SEEN ON PASSING CARS: ------------------------------------------------------ I love cats ... they taste just like chicken -------------------------------------------------------- Out of my mind. Back in five minutes. -------------------------------------------------------- Cover me. I'm changing lanes. ----------------------------------------------------------------- As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools ------------------------------------------------------------------ Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot. ------------------------------------------------------------------ Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep ------------------------------------------------------------------ I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather ... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car ... ------------------------------------------------------------------ Tow-ers will be violated ------------------------------------------------------------------ Montana -- At least our cows are sane! ------------------------------------------------------------------ The gene pool could use a little chlorine. ------------------------------------------------------------------ I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian. ----------------------------------------------------------------- Your kid may be an honor student but you're still an IDIOT! ----------------------------------------------------------------- It's as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you. ------------------------------------------------------------------ When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS. ------------------------------------------------------------------ Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips. ------------------------------------------------------------------ Friends don't let Friends drive Naked. ----------------------------------------------------------------- I took an IQ test and the results were negative. ------------------------------------------------------------------ When there's a will, I want to be in it! ------------------------------------------------------------------ Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check? ------------------------------------------------------------------ If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat? ------------------------------------------------------------------ Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students! ------------------------------------------------------------------ It's lonely at the top, but you eat better. ------------------------------------------------------------------ Reality? That's where the pizza delivery guy comes from! ----------------------------------------------------------------- Forget about World Peace.....Visualize Using Your Turn Signal ! ------------------------------------------------------------------ Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear. ------------------------------------------------------------------ Give me ambiguity or give me something else. ------------------------------------------------------------------ We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse. ----------------------------------------------------------------- Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot. ------------------------------------------------------------------ He/She who laughs last thinks slowest ------------------------------------------------------------------ Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else. ------------------------------------------------------------------ Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math. ------------------------------------------------------------------ Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies. ------------------------------------------------------------------ Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes. ----------------------------------------------------------------- Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy. ----------------------------------------------------------------- Consciousness: that annoying time between naps. ------------------------------------------------------------------ i souport publik edekasion ----------------------------------------------------------------- We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated. ------------------------------------------------------------------ Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home. ----------------------------------------------------------------- 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't. ------------------------------------------------------------------ Why is "abbreviation" such a long word? ------------------------------------------------------------------ Ever stop to think, and forget to start again? ------------------------------------------------------------------ Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'...till you can find a rock. ----------------------------------------------------------------- 2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2. ----------------------------------------------------------------- I like you, but I wouldn't want to see you working with subatomic particles. ------------------------------------------------------------------ I killed a 6-pack just to watch it die. ------------------------------------------------------------------ Money can't buy happiness...but it sure makes misery easier to live with. ------------------------------------------------------------------ If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.