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Arizona


Arizona

Date: Mon, 20 Sep 1999 14:25:41 -0500

You know you're from Arizona when......

...you've signed so many recall petitions that you can't remember the name of the current gubernatorial incumbent.

...you notice that your car is overheating --- and you haven't started it yet.

...you can say Hohokam and no one thinks you're making it up.

...you no longer associate rivers or bridges with water.

...you see more water flowing down the street than is in the Salt River.

...you know that a "swamp cooler" is not a happy hour drink.

...you can contemplate a high temperature of 120 degrees as "not all that bad, after all it's a dry heat."

...you can go from the dead of winter to summer in a 4 hour drive.

...you go to a fake beach to ride fake waves and call it surfing without cracking a smile.

...you have learned to expertly maneuver your vehicle under any traffic conditions using only two fingers; a skill usually learned initially in July.

...you know that you can make sun tea outside faster than instant tea in your microwave.

...you have to run your air conditioner in the middle of winter so that you can use your fireplace.

...you notice that your idea of the "best" parking place is determined more by shade than by distance.

...you know that Valley Fever is not a disco dance.

...the water coming from the "cold" tap is hotter than that from the "hot" tap.

...you can correctly pronounce the words: "Saguaro", "Tempe", "Gila Bend", "San Xavier del Bac", "Canyon de Chelly", "Mogollon Rim", "Cholla", and "Tlaquepacque".

...it's noon on a weekday in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one single person is moving on the streets.

...you actually burn your hand opening the car door.

...sunscreen is sold year 'round, is kept at the front of the checkout counter. A formula less than SPF 30 is a source of humor amongst shoppers waiting in line, and you apply it just to go to Circle K.

...you think that Circle K signs are the state tree.

...it does not seem unusual to you that someone would develop and market a personal misting system for joggers --- or that joggers would actually buy them.

...hot air balloons can't fly because the air outside is hotter than the air inside.

...having your car reupholstered in vinyl is legal basis for conducting a sanity hearing.

...you can understand the reason for a town being named "Why".

...upon entering a bar, there is a gun check

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May 04, 2004
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