He & She

He & She

Date: Thu, 13 Nov 1997 13:19:01 -0400

She/He Definitions:

Wants & needs (wontz and nedz) n. Female: The delicate balance of emotional, physical and psychological longing one seeks to have fulfilled in a relationship. Male: Food, sex and beer.

Thingy (thing-ee) n. Female: Any part under a car's hood. Male: The strapfastener on a woman's bra.

Lesbian (lez-bi-an) n. Female: A woman who makes love to other women. Male:A woman who has sex with other women so men can watch and get really turned on.

Glass ceiling (glas see-ling) n. Female: The invisible barrier that stops women from rising to the upper levels in business. Male: What would really be great at work since that hot babe took over the office one flight up.

Vulnerable (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj. Female: Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another. Male: Playing ball without a cup.

Communication (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n. Female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner. Male: Scratching out a note before suddenly taking off for a weekend with the guys.

Butt (but) n. Female: The body part that every item of clothing manufactured makes "look bigger." Male: The organ of mooning (and farting).

Commitment (ko-mit-ment) n. Female: A desire to get married and raise a family. Male: Not trying to pick up other women while out with one's girlfriend.

Entertainment (en-ter-tayn-ment) n. Female: A good movie, concert, play or book. Male: Anything with one ball, two folds, or three stooges.

Flatulence (flach-u-lens) n. Female: An embarrassing byproduct of digestion. Male: An endless source of entertainment, self-expression and male bonding.

Making love (may-king luv) n. Female: The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve. Male: What men have to call "boinking" to get women to boink.

Remote control (ri-moht kon-trohl) n. Female: A device for changing from one TV channel to another. Male: A device for scanning through all 75 channels every 2 1/2 minutes.

Taste (tayst) v. Female: Something you do frequently to whatever you're cooking, to make sure it's good. Male: Something you must do to anything you think has gone bad, prior to tossing it out.