We advise the outdoorsman to wear little noisy bells on clothing so as to give advanced warning to any bears that might be close by so you don’t take them by surprise.

We also advise anyone using the out of doors to carry “Pepper Spray” with them in case of an encounter with a bear.

Outdoorsmen should also be on the watch for fresh bear activity, and be able to tell the difference between black bear feces and grizzly bear feces. Black bear feces are smaller and contains berries and squirrel fur. Grizzly bear feces have bells in it and smell like pepper.

Additionally, if you find yourself being pursued by a bear, you must be able to identify the bear to determine how much danger you are in.

To do this, we suggest you climb a tree. If the bear chases you up the tree, it’s a black bear.

If the bear knocks the tree down, it’s a grizzly bear.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.

‘You talk?’ he asks.

‘Yep,’ the Lab replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says ‘So, what’s your story?’

The Lab looks up and says, ‘Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.’ ‘I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn’t getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.’ ‘I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I’m just retired.’

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

‘Ten dollars,’ the guy says.

‘Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?’

‘Because he’s a liar. He never did any of that stuff.’

Call your Senators and get them to support Senate Bill 1772.

1. When was your wedding day? June 24, 1995
2. What day of the week was it? Saturday
3. Did you get married in a church? The chapel on the drill field at Virginia Tech.
4. How many in your wedding party? 4 bridesmaids, 4 groomsmen, a reader, and a soloist. And a partridge in a pear tree.
5. Where was your reception? Blacksburg Community Center
6. How many guests were invited to your wedding? Around 125ish
7. How long did you wait to tie the knot after your proposal? 13 months
8. Who did you hire as your photographer & videographer? Local photographer guy (looking back, was far too expensive), and our friend Doug Gaff ran the video camera.
9. Did you have a DJ or a band? No, but we had a four instrument orchestra at the chapel.
10. Did your father walk you down the aisle? No, I was up front. But Laura’s dad walked her down.
11. What color were the bridesmaid dresses & groomsmen vests? Blue.
12. Who was your Maid Of Honor/Best Man? Heather Gillespie/Dan Farrar
13. Did you have a Bridal Shower? Yes, Laura did.
14. What type of limo did you get? We tried to be slick by renting one for driving us to Roanoke for our flight out of town. That way our car could get decorated and it wouldn’t be our problem. But the limo was late, so we ended up leaving the reception in our decorated car, driving around town for about an hour, then going back to the reception hall to wait for the limo.
15. Where did you go for your Bachelorette/Bachelor Party? I don’t remember. What happens in Blacksburg stays in Blacksburg. (That sounds naughtier than it really was.)
16. What type of wedding gown/tux did you two wear? Laura wore her mother’s wedding dress. I rented a tux.
17. How was the weather? Perfect.
18. Where did you go on your Honeymoon? It was a secret, I didn’t tell Laura where we were going until we were in the limo leaving town. The folks said we need to let them know, in case of emergency. So I left sealed envelopes to be opened only in case of emergency. When they opened the envelope minutes after we left, they found a sheet of phone numbers (but no locations).

    We stayed a night at the newly opened Hotel Roanoke in Roanoke, VA (evacuated the building at 3 in the morning for a fire), a night in Miami, a 6 day cruise on Carnival Cruiselines (the Ecstasy was our ship) through the Caribbean, then two more nights in Miami. The extra two nights was actually less expensive than flying out right after the cruise got in.

19. What was your favorite part of your wedding day? Lots of great memories from that day. (1) Me marrying Edd (the minister). I said part of my vows to Edd, I forgot to turn and face Laura, so the first part of my bows I said to Edd. (2) During the solo (Love by Petra) we gave a rose to each of our parents, which was a surprise to them. We wanted to acknowledge them during the service. (3) At the reception I got the garter off of Laura’s leg, I had hidden a pair of bright pink boxers up my coat sleeve. So while I was removing the garter from Laura’s leg I actually was getting the boxers out of my sleeve. The triumphant reveal of boxers got a huge response. Too bad the video camera missed it. (4) When it was over. As fun as the day was, it was very stressful.
20. How long have you been married? 5175 days. 14 years 2 months today.

In support of Tax Day Tea Party.