Michael Clark Personal Stuff » Men and Women

Flowers

Michael Clark — Mon, 12 Jul 1999 18:08:08 +0000

Friends, a blonde and a brunette, are walking down the street and pass a flower shop where the brunette happens to see her boyfriend buying flowers. She sighs and says, “Oh, crap, my boyfriend is buying me flowers again…..for no reason.” 7b1d91231a87fb75e0054e886a0dea57

The blonde looks quizzically at her and says, “What’s the big deal, don’t you like getting flowers?”

The brunette says, “Oh sure…..but he always has expectations after getting me flowers, and I just don’t feel like spending the next three days on my back with my legs in the air.”

The blonde says, “Don’t you have a vase?”

Date: Mon, 12 Jul 1999 14:08:04 -0500

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Farmer and His Wife

Michael Clark — Thu, 02 Jul 1998 17:44:59 +0000

A farmer and his wife went to a fair. The farmer was fascinated by the old open cockpit airplanes and asked a pilot how much a ride would cost. “$10 for 3 minutes,” replied the pilot. “That’s too much,” said the farmer. 7b1d91231a87fb75e0054e886a0dea57

The pilot thought for a second and then said, “I’ll make you a deal. If you and your wife ride for 3 minutes without uttering a sound, the ride will be free. But if you make a sound, you’ll have to pay $10.” The farmer and his wife agreed and went for a wild ride. After they landed, the pilot said to the farmer, “I want to congratulate you for not making a sound. You are a brave man.”

“Maybe so,” said the farmer, “But I gotta tell you, I almost screamed when my wife fell out.”

Date: Thu, 2 Jul 1998 13:42:35 -0500

Birds and The Bees

Michael Clark — Mon, 01 Dec 1997 17:51:09 +0000

A sweet little girl runs out to the backyard where her father is working, and asks him “Daddy, what’s sex?” So, her father sits her down, and tells her all about the birds and the bees. 7b1d91231a87fb75e0054e886a0dea57

He tells her about conception, sexual intercourse, sperms and eggs etc… He tells her about puberty, menstruation, men and women and love… He thinks, what the hell, and tells her the works, thinking that to tell it all is the only way to tell truth.

The girl is somewhat awe struck with this sudden influx of bizarre new knowledge, and her father finally asks, “So why did you wish to know about sex?”

“Oh, mommy said lunch would be ready in a couple of secs…”

Date: Mon, 1 Dec 1997 13:51:45 -0500